These lights will inspire you....

Hey friends,

I have happy news and sad news. The happy news is that spring break was an incredible, life changing experience that I'll never forget. The sad news is that it's over.

Galveston, TX.

For the first half of spring break I went home to Texas with my two best friends. It was so much fun to take them to my world and see my family for a few days. We went to the rodeo, toured Sugar Land, went to the beach and had Mexican food you can only get in the Lone Star State. It was beautiful.

The trip home reinforced my love for all things Texas and family life. I left with a vision of myself settling down on a quiet stretch of land somewhere in Small Town, U.S.A., writing for a nonprofit organization and baking my grandma's buttermilk pie. The idea of a quiet life a little out of the way seemed perfect.

Then I went to New York City.

Don't get me wrong: I was excited to go to New York, but I wasn't as overly thrilled as my friends were. I already knew that big city life wasn't for me. I love cities, but NYC overwhelmed me before I even got there. I knew I would like the visit, but I would never want to live or have a career there.

Well, I was wrong. Shoot.

Caroline in the City

New York City is amazing. The experience was not only fun, but influential. The journalism conference inspired and reaffirmed my career aspirations, and the liveliness of the city energized me to go for the job I want.

All of the sudden I can see myself working for a magazine in a bigger city and writing profiles on influential people. I want the tiny apartment, the noise on the street and the thrill of a fast paced life.

Since I've been back at school I've done nothing but think over what I learned, what I want and how to get it. I've been researching internships, jobs and even grad schools.

Now I'm conflicted. And confused. Isn't it funny how life works that way? In one week I gained more clarity than I could have hoped for, but it was followed with so much confusion, and even fear.

If I can't even decide what I want to do, how can I expect to achieve or deserve anything?

And there's another aspect to think about: ministry. As a Christian I feel the responsibility and desire to use my life to further the Kingdom of God. My career choice has to give me the opportunity to help others and make a difference.

Could I make more of a difference writing for a non-profit in a smaller market, or working to infuse Christian values into secular media at a news organization?

I don't know. I do know that the Lord has planned my course and will lead me to where He wants to use me, but isn't there still some responsibility on me to work hard to get there? Everyone I met in New York who had accomplished anything started working towards their goal at my age, or even younger ages.

I still have two more years of college and time to figure things out, but spring break gave me the energy to start now. How can I start if I don't even know where to begin?